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E-mail #1 – This year JET is celebrating its 18th anniversary. 

 In honour of our 18th anniversary and in conjunction with our annual Community-Wide Torah Study Project, JET has chosen to study 18 Tools For Effective Jewish Living. The 18 tools are modeled on the 48 qualities for acquiring Torah as recorded in Pirkei Avot 6:6 and from the 48 Ways to Wisdom of Rabbi Noach Weinberg Z'tl. 

The complete list of the 18 tools is listed on JET's website.

 The first of the 18 tools is "Be A Life Long Learner". As Jews we are known as "The people of the book". This is a testament to the fact that study in general and Torah study in particular has always been of the highest priority to us. The Mishnah in Pirkei Avot 6:6 tells us that there are 30 qualities for Kingship and 24 qualities for a Kohen, but there are 48 qualities for acquiring Torah. A King must come from the tribe of Yehudah and a Kohen must be someone from the tribe of Levi. These are very exalted positions in Jewish life, yet only those born into these tribes is able to attain these positions. However, even though these are very exalted positions, the highest honour is afforded to the learned person. To become a Talmid Chacham, a scholar, there are 48 qualities that must be acquired. This highest honour is able to be achieved by anyone. There is no limitation as to who may become a learned person.

What does it mean to be a learner and why is it important?

 Learning can be done in many ways. Of course there is learning from a textual source such as the Torah and there is learning from a teacher.

But being a learner is not limited to textual study nor is it limited to learning from a direct Torah source. Every situation, every interaction provides us with an opportunity to learn something new and to grow from the experience. Our sages tell us "Who is wise? One who learns from all people." In order for us to acquire wisdom we must be willing to learn from every situation and any person no matter their status. The Torah provides us with a framework against which we can measure the value of things we learn through observation and experience. Torah study itself is paramount, for it is the Torah as G-d's handbook for living, that gives us the ability to truly understand right and wrong and to become more G-dly in our actions.

As human beings we distinguish ourselves from animals in our ability to continuously grow and improve. When we stop being interested in learning new things, we stop growing.

 I invite you to join us in one of the series that are being offered on the 18 Tools of Effective Jewish Living and to join the learning campaign. Please join us in achieving 18,000 hours of Jewish learning by May5, 2010. Simply go to our website  at www.JETottawa.com and log in any amount of time you have spent learning any Jewish topic. (Including reading this email)

 Good Shabbos

 Rabbi Zischa Shaps

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Email #2 –  Think before Speaking

Last week we explained that JET’s community wide learning program is a focus on 18 Tools of Effective Jewish Living.  In honor of JET’s 18th Anniversary, we chose 18 Tools which when fully developed provide access to wisdom, enhance relationships, and improve our quality of life.  These 18 tools were chosen from a myriad of Jewish sources and in particular the Mishna in Pirkei Avot 6:6, which discusses 48 ways through which one “acquires Torah”.

 Tool #2 is Think before Speaking.  At first glance, this tool, like many others appears deceptively simple.  Yet the application is quite complex.  Jewish texts from the Chumash (5 books of the Torah) through modern day publications go into great detail about speech, including what to say, when to say it, how to say it. 

 Our Sages teach that it is speech that distinguishes humans from animals and it is silence that allows the soul to be heard. 

 The Rambam (Maimonides 1135-1204) wrote that there are 5 types of speech that we engage in.   The most positive use of our vocal chords is for prayer or Torah study.  The most negative is when we engage in denial or denigration of G-d, lies, slander, gossip, profanity, or false testimony.  There are also conversations that elevate a person, such as giving compliments or helpful advice, stories that inspire others to do good or which disparage undesirable traits.  There is unnecessary chatter, which is a waste of time, and only for the purpose of filling space.  And there is the discussion of day to day occurrences, which while permitted, should not be excessive.

 We live in a world of Twitter and talk radio.  There is a running commentary on everything, all the time.  We have become accustomed to hearing it all and saying whatever is on our mind.  Yet every one of us can recall many times when the moment after the words came out of our mouth, we wished that we could take them back. 

 Dibbur “speech” shares the same letters as Davar “thing”.  In Jewish thought, speech is a real thing and it can be used to build or destroy.   Modern day research supports that notion, as it has been shown that ongoing verbal abuse is often more damaging than physical abuse.

 So next time we are about to speak, we should pause and think.  Does this really need to be said?  Are these the best words to convey the message?  Is this the best time to have this conversation?  Will my words be a thing that builds or destroys? 

 Tool #2, Think before Speaking, reminds us to place a pause between the thought and the talk, a small step with great implications.

 Shabbat Shalom,

 Lauren Shaps

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Email #3 –

A movie star enters the party: strutting, cocky, head raised.
His manner shouts: "I'm great and we all know it."
The room is silent with awe. Charisma!
Judaism calls this counterfeit charisma. The movie star is totally dependent on external factors over which he has no control. Without the adoring fans, he has nothing.

The Torah teaches that the path to genuine charisma is B'anava - "with humility."
Does humility really generate charisma?! Don't we usually imagine the humble person as meek, hunched over, and barely noticeable?
Let's define our terms. Humility is not an inferiority complex or lack of self-esteem. Humility means "living with the reality that nothing matters except doing the right thing." The humble person is totally dedicated to the pursuit of truth. And because his self-esteem is not dependent on approval from others, he can choose the right thing even when it's not popular or politically correct.
An arrogant person, on the other hand, is mostly concerned with his own ego, his own pride, his own money. So even though he appears friendly and charming, he's really manipulating things to suit his selfish needs.
"Arrogance" = I'm all that counts.
"Humility" = What's greater than me counts.
 TRANSCENDING THE PETTINESS
Despite his smooth exterior, the arrogant person is, ironically, restrained and inhibited from expressing his true self. How can he "be himself" when he is constantly preoccupied with how he appears in the eyes of others?
Humility is freedom. When you are only concerned about truth, and living by it, then you are free to express yourself in the most genuine and uninhibited way. Your natural beauty shines through. That's real charisma!
The Torah tells us that the most humble person of all time - Moses - was, not coincidentally, also the most charismatic. As the teacher of Torah, Moses had a quiet confidence in the justness of his cause. He could not be rattled by rebels or complaints. And that's what earned him the greatest respect.
With such genuine self-confidence, the humble person has transcended the mundane pettiness of this world. He doesn't have to answer every insult. He can rise above arguments.
He knows his place, and helps others find their place, too. He makes everyone feel important. Because with the humble person, if others excel, there's no jealousy or risk of ego crisis.
Have you ever met such a person? It draws you like a magnet. Wouldn't you like some of that charisma?
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Avrami Gross

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Email #4 –

Our Sages of blessed of memory have taught us that man was created for the sole purpose of rejoicing in G-d and deriving pleasure from the splendor of His Presence.

These classical words from the pen of Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzatto seem to resonate with an experience that is not set in this world and this time, but rather in the world to come.  However; Rabbi Nosson Zvi Finkel, affectionately known to his students as the Alter, explains that this statement is not only true for the world to come but applies in this world as well.  This world also allows us endless pleasures during our lifetimes which have the potential to provide us with a seemingly endless amount of joy and happiness.

       If this is the case then we should be in a constant state of joy and blissful happiness.  As a matter of fact, this conclusion seems to create a perplexing problem.  Why is it that we do not find more joy around us in everyday life?  Now, it would be impressive at this point of the article to provide some statistics and anecdotal evidence to support the dismal level of joy people in North American currently have in their lives.  However; this would make this piece to long and boring for any body to read.  Therefore; let it suffice to say that anyone reading this knows what I am talking about.  We are not walking around in a constant state of joy because of all the wonderful experiences that we have around us.  Is there anything can be done to remedy this ailment? 

     What our Sages indicate to us as the reason we do not experience this great level of happiness is that we do not sense the constant pleasures around us.  This comes from our constant exposure the world of pleasures around us.  In my parents house there was an old television set from the mid-1950s stored in the attic.  If you were to turn it on, after waiting an interminable amount of time, a fuzzy black and white picture would emerge.  Now imagine if that television was instantly replaced by a high definition, flat screen plasma set.  Wouldn't the change in picture cause you to say wow!  Look at that.  However, after an hour of watching the wow factor would begin to diminish until it would dissipate entirely.  Every part of the G-d's amazing creation (not that G-d needs my approbation concerning His creation) is exactly the same way.  It is because our constant exposure to it that we lose the feeling of wonder that this creation can provide for us. 

     The good news is that we have within ourselves the capacity to reignite that excitement and wonder over everything around us.  This is why Our Sages gave us Berachos (Blessings) over the pleasures that we experience in this world.   If we focus our thoughts on these pleasures when we are making the blessing they we will make a bigger impact on us and we will enjoy life more and more.  May we all merit that we should appreciate and experience the joys and pleasures that all of life has to offer. 

Have a Good Shabbos!!

Rabbi Dovid Burger

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Email #5 –

In Pirkei Avos mishnah 6:6 the Mishnah lists one of the ways in which Torah is acquired as "Mi'ut Sechora" minimizing work. Rabbi Abraham Twerski in his commentary on this Mishnah explains that the Talmud tells us that the amount of money a person will earn each year is determined on Rosh Hashanah while the amount of spiritual growth that a person will attain is not pre-determined. That being the case, it makes sense that one should spend the greater part of his time pursuing the thing in which you can make a difference.

 

In looking at this week's Torah reading, Parshas Yisro, we can find this same idea about moderation in work.


In the Ten Commandments we learn the laws of Shabbos. We are told that we should only work six days a week and "rest" on the seventh, just as G-d created the world in six days and "rested" on the seventh day. In simple terms, the idea is that we need limitations placed on our working. If we worked 24/7 we would never have time to think about anything. (This is the reason why Pharaoh increased the Jews' workload when Moshe asked him to free the slaves.) Shabbos creates an official "time-out" to allow us to focus on what really matters. It allows us to spend time and develop stronger relationships with those who are most important to us, our friends, our families and G-d.

We also see this idea reflected in the description of the collecting of the manna that G-d miraculously sent to provide food for the people. The Torah relates that no matter how hard one worked at collecting the manna, they all ended up with an equal amount. This is a tremendous lesson about G-d's providence and the emphasis one should place on working harder to earn even more money. The manna taught us that G-d has determined how much you will end up with. Yes, everyone is required to put in an effort in order to earn a living, however, we should not make the mistake of thinking that it is within our own power to determine the end result. It is our responsibility to do what is necessary; it is G-d's responsibility to provide the outcome.

 

Wishing you a meaningful and relaxing Shabbos,

Rabbi Zischa Shaps

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Email #6 –

Tool number 6 in our 18 tools of Highly Effective Jewish Living is “Face the World with a Smile”. 

Shammai in Mishna 1:15 of Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Sages) tells us:  “Greet all people with a cheerful countenance.”  In other words “Face the World with a smile. "

One might think that a truly holy and spiritual person might be too focused on esoteric matters to be aware of the people around him.  But our great Sages taught the exact opposite, that someone who behaves in a G-dly fashion will greet others with the warmth of a glowing face, a welcoming smile.  

The great Mussar Educator,  Rabbi Yisroel Salanter (1810-1883) met a very serious man on the way to services for Kol Nidre Prayers on the eve of Yom Kippur.  Rabbi Salanter greeted the man, but the man was absorbed in his thoughts, perhaps about awesomeness of Yom Kippur.  He did not respond.  R’ Yisroel, using a teachable moment,  said to his students, “Why must I suffer from this gentleman’s preoccupation with the Day of Judgment?”  Our thoughts and feelings belong to us, but our faces are public property.   Rabbi Salanter’s realization that a person could be Jewishly knowledgeable and still miss the point inspired him to start the Mussar Movement.

The Medrash Shmuel writes that a person is not always blessed with the financial means to be charitable.  Many times we come in contact with people that we want to help, but don’t have the ability to do so.  However, everyone can give the gift of a smiling face to others.  Often warmth and sincere concern can mean more than other types of assistance.  One way to develop this tool is to concentrate on the idea that each person, even those we don’t like, was created in the image of G-d.  When we focus on the G-dly soul within each person, we can overcome the barriers that separate us and greet each person with sincerely positive emotion.  At the end of the day, every person wants to be respected and treated with warmth.  A smile is a great place to start.

 

Shabbat Shalom,

Lauren Shaps

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Email #7 –  Become a Giver

A Rabbi was visiting a relative's grave site in Poland. On his way out, he happened to notice two neighbouring headstones, on one headstone was written "Her palm she offers to the poor man", and on the other "and her hand she extends to the destitute" (a verse in Proverbs 31, part of Eshet Chayil - A Woman of Valor, said on Friday night). After some research into why a verse typically ascribed to women was on two brothers' headstones, he heard the following story: These two brothers were originally extremely wealthy, but lost all their money. As they were extremely generous, they asked their Rabbi why they deserved to lose their money. He answered them it was because they were TOO generous. (According to Jewish law, a person should not spend more than one fifth of their income on charity. It is irresponsible, as it can cause the giver to become poor, thus making him an additional burden on the community) Some time later, a poor person came to their door. Extremely upset that they couldn't give anything, they searched their house, and finally discovered a small silver spoon. Dividing it in two pieces, one gave him the bowl of the spoon, and the other gave him the handle. (The Hebrew word for palm is the same as the one for bowl, and the Hebrew word for hand is the same word as for handle). Although they had taken the concept of giving too an extreme that was potentially self destructive, these two brothers epitomized the definition of "Givers".

 

So, how does one become a giver? The Talmud states that if a person has $100, it is better to give $1 to one hundred poor people, rather than give $100 to one poor person, so that a person can get himself used to giving. The point of giving is to make the giver a better person. It is not just for the sake of the poor person. Hashem doesn't need the rich person to support the poor person, he can take care of the poor person by Himself. Rather Hashem wants to give people the opportunity to give. He wants to create opportunities for a person to grow. The more times a person gives, the more his nature will become that of a giving person.


This week's portion teaches us the amazing idea that we can make everyday things and possessions holy by using them for a higher purpose. In the Tabernacle, gold, silver and other materials were made into the holy utensils which helped people feel closer to God. So too, we can make our own possessions holy by using them to do good.
 

 

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Avrami Gross

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Email #8 –  Attain Peace of Mind

     There is an old story about a young university student who leaves school because he does not feel that he has found himself.  He decides to take a trip around the world in order to inspect different cultures to see what may be appealing to him in his quest for self definition.  After a while he ventures to the countries of the east where he becomes fascinated with a certain eastern sect.  After several months of study there, he feels it is time for him to meet the leader of the sect.  After being rebuffed several times he is told that he may have an audience with the head of the sect.  When the appointed time comes he is shown into a room with a light at its center.  In the lighted area sits a figure on the floor in deep contemplation.  With great trepidation the student slowly approaches when suddenly the figure looks up and says, “Moishey come home.”

     The verse in Psalms, “the commandments of G-d are just and make the heart happy.”

Why is it that they make the heart happy?  The Ibn Ezra comments that if you look in the first part of the verse you will see why.  The Pasuk uses the word “Pekudim” instead of “Mitzvot” for commandments.  “Pekudim” usually refers to things that are deposited like a deposit in a bank.  The verse uses this term in order to teach us that the commandments of G-d are actually deposited within us and therefore are a part of us.  This result is that the closer that we come to G-d’s Torah and Commandments the more in harmony we are with ourselves and the happier we are. 

     When we think of attaining peace of mind usually we think of going away from where we are in order to find it.  In fact as the Pasuk illustrates what we are looking for is found right here in our backyard.  To attain peace of mind we must be at harmony with ourselves and to achieve harmony we must be able to be in touch with what is at our core.  King David in his book of Psalms educates us where to look in order to attain this harmony. 

 

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Purim,

Rabbi Dovid Burger

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Email #9 –  Learn In Order To Do    

There are numerous places in Pirkei Avos that indicate that actions are more important than study. Yet we are also taught that the study of Torah is paramount. This is stated in our morning prayers when we follow the blessings with a selection from the Mishnah and the Talmud. The Talmudic statement lists a number of Mitzvos and concludes “but the study of Torah equals them all”. How do we reconcile these concepts?

In order to understand this properly, we must first understand what it is that we are learning and what it is that we are doing. The Torah is the word of G-d. It is the wisdom of G-d and the way to know Him. It is also the blueprint for how one leads a meaningful and fulfilling life that brings one closer to G-d and to G-dliness. The study of Torah allows us to gain a greater understanding of what G-d wants from us and what the “ways of G-d” are. Performance of Mitzvos allows us to translate the ideals that we have learned into action. But it does much more than that. It is through the action of the Mitzvos that we change and improve ourselves. Actions form the basis of our beings. We are what we do, not what we admit to intellectually. The performance of Mitzvos creates a change to our inner selves. When one gives charity even though they don’t feel the empathy for the recipient, it slowly changes the person into a giver and they become more empathetic.

When the Talmud states that the study of Torah equals them all it refers to studying with a higher purpose. Not only does it mean studying with the goal of fulfilling the mitzvos that you are learning but it goes even further than this.  It implies studying in order to change oneself. It means being open to the Torah and its teachings and being ready to be moved and inspired. The Torah -- even areas with little practical relevance -- has an effect on a person who is ready to integrate its teachings. The highest goal in studying is not only to observe the commandments. It is to become different: a more sanctified and inspired human being. One who studies to do, wants more than to understand clearly. He wants to incorporate and make the Torah's lessons a part of his life. He wants the Torah to enter his psyche and change his nature.

The one who studies to do will not only understand intellectually but more importantly will live and feel as well. This is the real secret to Jewish continuity. It is this passion that is transmitted to our children, students and friends that will have a lasting effect on them and encourage them to follow in the path of Hashem and the Torah.

 

Have a wonderful Shabbos

Rabbi Zischa Shaps

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E-mail #10

CULTIVATE GRATITUDE

Attitude of Gratitude.

 

This week's tool is Tool #10 - Cultivate Gratitude.  In Hebrew we call gratitude, "hakarat hatov", to recognize the good.  In Jewish life, thought, practice, we are reminded over and over about the importance of recognizing the good that comes our way.   Research supports this message and shows that that there is a direct correlation between gratitude and happiness.   As we are taught in Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Sages, compiled 2,000 years ago, "Who is wealthy? The one who is happy with what he has."  

 

Our society and certainly our economy runs on inducing a sense of lack in people.   There will always be something that we don't have, think we want, or are convinced that we need.  The Talmud teaches that "one who has 200 wants 400."  It is human nature to always be searching for something more or better, and when correctly applied, that drive will enhance our lives and the world.   But when the drive to acquire more takes control where it should not, we end up feeling a sense of deprivation, want, lack so profound that we cannot see the good that is in front of our eyes.  We see this in people who eat continuously even though the hunger they experience is not a physical one.  So too, we often think that if we achieve a particular goal or "get" a particular thing, we will fill the void which resides within.   

 

A focus on gratitude is the antidote that the Torah prescribes.  In just a few weeks, we will sit at our seder and sing "Dayenu", "it would have been enough".   For a very long time, I wondered how we could say these particular words, let alone, sing this part of the seder with such gusto.  What do we mean that "had G-d split the sea, but not led us out through dry land, it would have been enough"?      I am slowly coming to realize that Dayenu has much to teach us. Perhaps we are being reminded to live in the here and now and be grateful for the good in every moment.  Today we call this "Mindfulness", a process which  involves consciously experiencing each moment as we live it and developing a  relaxed state of awareness that observes both our inner world of thoughts, feelings and sensations, and the outer world of constantly changing phenomena.  The goal is to simply experience the moment without trying to control anything. 

 

Every moment of life is a gift from G-d.  Much of the time, we are so busy worrying about the next moment that this moment disappears having never been truly experienced.  Even a moment where one's back is against the wall, the Egyptian army on one side, the Sea on the other, and nowhere to go, is a moment where there is much to be grateful for.  If we focus on developing an attitude of gratitude, by recognizing what is good in any given moment, we will feel full and enriched, and in that moment have all that we truly need.   Dayenu reminds us to experience each moment as it comes, to be thankful for all that is good, within that moment, and let go of our worries about what the next moment will bring.   

 

Shabbat Shalom, 

Lauren Shaps

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Email #11 –  Rabbi Simcha Bunem of Peshischa (1765-1827) used to tell his disciples this story on the High Holidays: Once, there was a king whose son rebelled against him, and so was banished from his father's kingdom. After a while, the king was moved to pity his son's fate, and decided to send messengers to find him, and to grant him anything he might wish. It took a long time, but finally one of the royal messengers found the son, far from home. He was at a village inn, dancing barefoot and in a torn shirt in the midst of drunken peasants. The courtier bowed low and said, "Your father, the king, has sent me to ask what you desire. Whatever it may be, the king is prepared to grant your wish. Hold nothing back, ask freely, for whatever riches or honour or title you seek it shall be yours, for that is the message of the king." The prince began to weep. "I have forgotten what a prince might need. I have lived for so long as a poor peasant, I ask only for some warm clothing and a new pair of shoes." "See" said Rabbi Bunem, "that is how we whine for the small things of the hour when the King comes calling for us. We have forgotten that we are princes, and we ask only for clothes and shoes."

We tend to be overly concerned about small things in life. The problem is, that the bigger picture tends to get lost in the shuffle. No person is perfect; but if we only focus on the small negative things about our spouse/child/friend etc, then we completely lose the bigger perspective of who the person really is. Focus on the big picture, and don't let the little things in life bother you.

This idea also applies when looking at the big picture of world events. It is very difficult to see the full significance of every event, yet we can look back many times and see how small things, even ones we perceive as negative, were an important ingredient to the "big picture".

This concept is alluded to in Parshat Ki Tavo  where it speaks about bringing the first fruits of the harvest to the Temple in Jerusalem. There we make a declaration of gratitude, saying: "An Aramite man tried to destroy my father, and our nation endured slavery in Egypt." (This section is also quoted in the Hagaddah)

Huh? An Aramite tried to destroy my father, we suffered in Egypt - and this is supposed to be a declaration of gratitude?!

The commentators explain: The Aramite is Laban, who deceived our forefather Jacob by switching Rachel and Leah. (Jacob had intended to marry Rachel, but Leah appeared under the chuppah instead.) Now let's consider: If Laban never would have pulled that stunt, then Jacob would have married Rachel as he intended - and Joseph would have been the first-born son. Thus when Jacob showed favoritism toward Joseph, the other brothers would have likely not been jealous - and Joseph never would have been sold into slavery.

Now here's the catch: Joseph would never have become Egyptian prime minister who, years later, was in position to save the Jewish people from famine. So, yes, even though Laban the Aramite tried to destroy our forefather, we express the gratitude, that somehow, some way, it was all for the best.


So, lets not concern ourselves overmuch with the small things, because its really the big picture that counts.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Avrami Gross


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Email #13 – Choose a Mentor


This week's tool for Effective Jewish Living is Choose a Mentor.
In Pirkei Avos, Shamai says "Make for yourself a teacher". It is our responsibility to find and develop a relationship with a teacher. This is not talking about someone who taught you how to read in 1st grade or even your high school math teacher. Shammai is speaking to adults and telling us that as an adult each one of us needs to find someone who will be our guide as to the understanding and application of what the Torah is teaching us, and what G-d wants from us. A true mentor is one who is your main source of guidance and wisdom. This is a lifetime relationship that lasts forever.

Each one of us has the right to choose who we want our mentor to be. It is not a decision to be made lightly and requires some thought. It could be the Rabbi of your synagogue, it could be the Rabbi of your Yeshiva or school, or it could be a Rabbi that you have dealings with or have specifically chosen to create a relationship with for this purpose.

How do we go about choosing? A mentor must be someone who you respect. Find out if this person lives in a way that is consistent with what he teaches and preaches. A mentor should be someone who has more experience than us. A mentor should be someone who has more knowledge. A mentor should also be someone who knows us. As Rabbi Noach Weinberg Z"tl says "The key to a good mentor is to develop strong trust and communication. Criticism is difficult to swallow, but it's a less bitter pill when it comes from someone you trust, someone who has insight and wisdom, someone who you believe is only out for your own good. Choose someone who understands you, and who knows your background and family history."

 One of the most important aspects of having a mentor is that this is the one to whom you ask your questions and whose answers you follow. In Jewish Law, there are many issues that are not 100% clear and therefore differences of opinion arise. Some are more lenient and some are stricter. When one is faced with a question as to what is the Halacha (Jewish Law) in a certain situation, you are not supposed to shop around for a Rabbi who will give you the answer you are looking to get. You ask your own Rabbi, i.e. the one you have chosen as your Rabbi for your guide. Sometimes your Rabbi will be lenient and sometimes your Rabbi will be strict but you are being consistent by following the same person's rulings.

As I write this, the second Yahrtzeit of my Rebbe (teacher), Rabbi Henoch Leibowitz, has just passed. Although he is no longer here to ask questions to and to seek guidance from, his teachings live on and his approach to understanding the Torah is carried on by his many hundreds of students, many of them now leading Rabbis in their own right. I can still ask a question to one of his students and be confident that the answer I will get is totally based on what he has taught them and the approach that he passed on. This is known as a Mesorah, a tradition handed down from one generation to the next. It is this idea of Mesorah that is the key to Jewish continuity from one generation to the next.

At the Seder we have just completed, our children ask the questions and we are supposed to give the answers. We are fulfilling the same idea. We are supposed to pass on the Mesorah, the tradition, to the next generation as we received it from the previous generation. If we were not fortunate enough to have a Jewish education in our youth, it is not too late. The opportunity for Jewish learning never ends and there are many potential mentors out there to learn from.

Wishing you a Chag Sameach,

Rabbi Zischa Shaps

 

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Email #14 –

 

Tool #14 of our 18 Tools of Effective Jewish Living is Pleasure- the Means not the End.

We have just completed the holiday of Passover, which hopefully contained a balance of both physical and spiritual pleasures.  We know that unlike other faiths, where the denial of physical pleasure is considered holy, in Jewish life, we strive to elevate the physical and use it as a means through which to achieve spiritual pleasure.

What exactly is spiritual pleasure and how is it different from physical pleasure? Dr. Judith Mishell and Dr. Shalom Srebrenik in their book,
Beyond your Ego, explain three basic differences between physical and spiritual pleasure. First, spiritual pleasure is cumulative, physical pleasure is not. If I am hungry, thinking about my last meal, won't help me. It may in fact make me hungrier, and once I enjoy that juicy steak or ice cold beer, the pleasure is over. Spiritual pleasures last forever. When I think back to a meal that I made for a family going through a tough time, or a dinner with family and friends, I feel really good inside, and that wonderful feeling inspires me to pursue that type of spiritual pleasure again and again. Not only that. The steak that I ate gave me pleasure alone, but the meal that I shared gave others pleasure as well.

Second, sensitivity to spiritual pleasures increases, while sensitivity to physical pleasures decreases. Ice cream may taste amazing the first few times I eat it, but a steady diet for three meals a day (and dessert) would become repulsive. Drug addicts need ever increasing quantities to achieve the same high. With spiritual pleasure, if it is truly a spiritual experience, it becomes increasingly deep and fulfilling with every focused repetition. If we don't feel that way, then perhaps it is not truly a spiritual experience.

And third, as we grow older
, a focus on spiritual pleasures becomes a greater and greater asset.   Aging is a liability for physical pleasures.   As our bodies weaken and age, if our total concern was for physical pleasure, fewer opportunities for pleasure remain. Our desire for physical pleasures diminish and our spiritual sensitivities can become deeper and more refined.  Certain pleasures such as love, family, creativity, meaning, gaining wisdom and perspective are often spiritual pleasures, pleasures of the soul.  But those are pleasures that need to be developed when we are young and able.


Our Western society is focused on consuming as many physical pleasures as is humanly possible and yet for some strange reason people are probably less satiated than ever before. We need to reprioritize, to turn our attention to the fulfillment of spiritual pleasures. Mitzvot give us the tools and the structure to access those pleasures. As David Zellers writes, "when we reach above the clouds and see the world from a lofty perspective, we are more whole and more self aware. At such moments, we think, interact, and feel more vividly and more alive than usual. We love and accept and respect one another, have less inner conflict and anxiety and are better focused on all that we do." I would trade a steak dinner for that any day of the week! 

Wishing you a Shabbat Shalom - a day of physical and spiritual pleasure,

Lauren

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Email #15 –

Tool # 15 of JET's 18 Tools of Effective Jewish Living
Face the Pain
Often, the fear of pain is worse than the pain itself. An inoculation takes all of one second, but anticipation of the pain can last for hours beforehand.
Fear of pain is the greatest restriction there is. If you're afraid of traveling, you'll never go anywhere. If you're afraid of physical or emotional exertion, you won't achieve, you won't grow, you won't find truth.  We all have a choice: Either pay now in the pain of trying, or pay later in the emotional pain of knowing you're too weak to try. For example: If you don't apply for the job, you avoid the pain of refusal - but you have the pain of being a quitter the rest of your life. And that always comes back to haunt a person.
To help you confront tough situations, remember: "Pain is passing, results are lasting." In fact, pain is often just a threshold to cross into a world of pleasure. A good example is the dentist. The drilling and filling will take an hour, and the pain will subside in two. But the filling will prevent further decay, and give you eating enjoyment for years to come.
Fundamental to facing pain, is understanding the purpose of it. An adult can handle the pain of the injection more than a child can, because he understands the purpose of this minor pain is to protect him from even greater suffering.
 
There is also suffering that exists to build character. This is best illustrated in the following story:
A group of women were attending a Torah study class.  They learned the saying from the prophet MALACHI (3:3) : "HE WILL SIT AS A REFINER AND PURIFIER OF SILVER."
This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.  One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and report back to the group.  She called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work.   As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up.  He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest in order to burn away all the impurities.  The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot, and then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."  She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.
The man answered that "yes", he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire.  If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.  The woman was silent for a moment.  Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"  He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Avrami Gross

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Email #16 –

PROTECT WHAT IS PRECIOUS

    There are many fascinating lessons a person can learn on a New York City subway.  Besides the ability to leap four stairs in a single bound in order to get on the platform and catch the train, there are all sorts of life lessons as well.  For example have you ever noticed the commuter who is obviously late and continually stands on the edge in order to look down the tunnel to see if the train is coming.  How careless can a person be?   Are they waiting for G-d forbid to be an accident?  While this is obviously not a healthy practice, could we apply this same principle to other aspects of our lives? 

    The Talmud in Tractate Sotah states that the person does not transgress unless it enters into him a foolish spirit.  Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz asks that if this is the only way a person will transgress then why is anyone held responsible for when they do wrong?  It would be comparable to a person standing near a pit and something accidentally pushes him in.  He surely would not be held responsible for falling into the pit. 

     Reb Chaim answers that granted maybe a person can be absolved from the transgression itself, however; a person still carries the responsibility for placing themselves in a position that the foolish spirit had the opportunity to act upon him. It would be comparable to the person standing next to the pit.  Granted that what caused him to fall in was not of his own doing, however; the fact that he was standing near the pit in the first place was caused by his own actions. 

   There are so many things in life that are very precious to us and yet we will stand near the edge of the platform without thinking about the possibilities of what we are doing.  Whether it be our relationships, health or values, may we always protect what is precious to us by not even coming close to the edge. 

Have a Good Shabbos!

Rabbi Dovid Burger

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Email #17 – 

Navigating Social Pressure

 

Pressure? What pressure?
We live in a society filled with social pressure. This is true in both the Jewish world and the non-Jewish world. There is pressure upon us from the non-Jewish world to have certain values and to see things a certain way and there are other pressures on us within our own Jewish world to act or behave in a certain way.
          

The Rambam (Maimonides) states "a person's nature is to be influenced in his opinions and his actions by his friends and companions. Therefore, man must dwell amongst righteous and wise individuals so that he may learn from their actions and distance himself from the wicked who walk in the ways of darkness so that he not learn from their ways..." In short, the Rambam teaches that a person must be very careful regarding the company he keeps. Ultimately, a person will become who his neighbors and friends are.

This idea is expressed in a Mishnah in Pirkei Avos. Rabban Yochanan Ben Zakkai asks his students "what is the proper path that a person should cling to"? Rabbi Yose responded; a good neighbour. He asked the same question in the reverse; What is the evil path that one should stay away from and Rabbi Yose's answer was a bad or evil neighbour. We are all influenced by our surroundings for both positive and negative. If we surround ourselves with neighbours and friends who have good values this will rub off on us as well. With all of the modern technology we have today, the influence of neighbours goes far beyond those who live near us. Through the media via television and the internet we are connected for better or for worse to the entire world.

 

If we stop and think about it, there are so many things that we do and think because of the effect that society has on us. We wear certain clothes because they are "in fashion". We have certain values because the media tells us that this is politically correct. We even have accepted certain views as being Jewish when in fact they are based in other religions and are not the Jewish view at all. How do we maintain our identity and values in the face of outside pressure? We are here today as Jews because our ancestors were able to withstand tremendous pressures and maintain their Jewish identity and Jewish values.

 

At the root of why we are so affected by other people's views and opinions, is a human need for approval and acceptance. We are so interested in being accepted that we will conform to the ways of others even when our first reaction is that it is wrong. Studies have shown that people will say something that is obviously not true. For example, 20 people are in a room and 19 of the participants are "in" on the study and they are told to answer a question in a patently false way (e.g. - the orange is blue). Invariably, the 20th person, who is the actual subject of the study, when asked to answer the same question, answers it in a way that is absurd, just to make his answer correspond with everyone else's answer. So profound is the influence of society that something can be black and white and a person will change his response just to conform to everyone else. The problem is that if this would continue, the person would actually believe that black is white and white is black. Unfortunately we have seen this in so many ways both historically and in our own world of today.

This is why the Rambam counsels us to dwell amongst the righteous and to seek counsel amongst the wise. We must be particularly careful who our friends are and we must be even more particularly careful about who our children's friends are. Adults are somewhat less susceptible to the pressures of society, but for children -- especially teenagers and adolescents - the influence of their environment is all that counts.

In the face of enormous societal pressure we look to the Torah for our source of truth and values. With an understanding of the Torah's message and a circle of friends and neighbours who are positive influences we will be able to stay strong and maintain our Jewish identity and Jewish values.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Zischa Shaps

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Email #18 – 

The 18th and final tool is Be There for Others. 

This has been a very exciting time for each one of us as individuals and for our community as a whole.  When we originally talked about working together to complete 18,000 hours of Torah study, I thought that we had set an unreachable  goal.  Yet last week at Jewish Unity Live over 300 people came out to celebrate almost 25,000 hours of Torah study here in Ottawa. 

Torah is the foundation of all that Judaism has to offer.   The wonderful Jewish values of family, community, generosity, concern for others come from our Torah.  When we dedicate time to learn we internalize those values, we fill ourselves up with the timeless wisdom and deep meaning of Jewish life and that spills over into our ability to be there for others.  

The Torah teaches that we should be there for others in good times and challenging ones.  We should join the simcha of a wedding and the sorrow of a shiva house.   But to truly be there for others, we must see each person as a complex human being and try to understand how to be there for them in a way that is truly meaningful.  

 One of my favourite stories is of a woman who came to see the Brisker Rav before Pesach.   She asked the Rabbi an interesting question:  if she could not afford to buy wine for the seder, could she fulfill the mitzvah by drinking milk?   He responded by giving her a large sum of money.  His students questioned the fact that he gave her much more money than what she would need to buy wine.  His response was that it was obvious from the fact that she wanted to use milk at her seder that she didn't have meat or chicken either.   His sensitivity to others gave him insight into what she truly needed.  By understanding her needs, he could be there for her.

With this e-mail, we will conclude our citywide learning campaign on the 18 tools of highly effective Jewish living.  By focusing our attention on each of these tools we will, over time, develop the sensitivity and understanding to truly be there for others.

Our thanks to all of our readers for being there for us.  Your interest, your comments, and your compliments are greatly appreciated.  When our Jewish community dialogues, discusses, and debates these important lessons, we bring ourselves closer to the Messianic era when we will have true Jewish unity, a unity evident in our ability to truly be there for each other.

 

Wishing you a great week,

Lauren Shaps